Jokes

[mazarxnl]

A tribe in the jungle consider farting after every meal to be a sign of power, however the chief of the tribe finds it extremely difficult to fart.

His servant goes to the doctor and say "big chief, no fart" so the doctor gives him a pill

The next day the servant goes back to the doctor and says "big chief, still no fart" so the doctor gives him a big pill the size of his hand

On the third day the servant goes back and says "big cheif still not fart" so the doctor gives a pill the size of a football

The next day the servant comes back and says to the doctor "big fart,no chief!"


There were three stranded men walking down a sandy beach on a deserted island. They walk a little ways and find a magic lamp. So they decide since they are stranded that they might as well rub it. After they rub it a genie pops out and says each one has one wish.

The first man wishes he was at home making love to his wife. POOF, he's gone

The second man wishes that he was at his favorite strip club, drinking a beer with his friends. POOF, he's gone.

The third man doesn't know what to do, so he thinks for a minute and says, "hmm, you know i really wish those two were back here to help me make my descision."

[mazarxnl]

A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can
I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he
then charged them $32.00.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment,
have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.

Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"

The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here
for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's
office."

[gangagurru]

heres one for the kiddies...
A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit together in the woods...the bear turns to the rabbit and asks pardon me but do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fut? the rabbit says why no...and the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit

[CheshireSmile]

Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed. That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says, "I dreamt I had the best wank last night." The guy on the left side says, "That's funny, I had the exact same dream!". The guy in the middle says, "I dreamt I was skiing."


A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the man. 'I'm going to Las Vegas', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free! 'The man said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. The man said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

[Far_Canal]

What do you call a Filipino contortionist?... A "manila folder".

Oh yeah, hai.

[osprey]

That, is a groaner. Right on man, welcome to the boards. . .

I'll see your manilla folder and raise you a:

What's brown and sticky?

A stick! <---- Highlight for answer!

[gangagurru]

lolllllllllllllll well played sir

[Far_Canal]

He Said To Me!

He said to me ... . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . ........ Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . I don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.